The Current-Dec. 2007 Feature Story 1

Buffalo Run Casino Will Have You Running to Miami

By Regan Henson

Everyone knows if you cheat on Carrie Underwood she’s liable to slash your tires or bust out your headlights. Crazy chick, right? Try that shit on Miranda Lambert. Then consider yourself lucky if the worst thing that happens is she burns your house down. The more likely outcome is she’ll run off your dog, slap your mama, max out your credit cards, tell you the score of the game you didn’t get to see so you TiVo’d it so you could watch it later and avoided talking to anyone who had seen it and didn’t read the paper or watch Sportscenter, tell every single chick who’ll listen that you suffer from chronic “shrinkage”, wash your lights and darks together, and then burn your house down. And then shoot your ass.

Maybe the chick has issues, maybe she just don’t take no guff. Whatever the motivation is, Miranda Lambert is using it to burn up the airwaves and pile up awards. Since her second album, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, was released earlier this year, critics have raved non-stop, with both USA Today and The Rolling Stone calling it the best country album of the year. At this year’s CMA awards show, Lambert stole the show with her raucous rendition of her current single, “Gunpowder and Lead,” a song that features lyrics describing a not so subtle solution for dealing with an abusive boyfriend.

This little lady is like Loretta Lynn on crack, suffering from a wicked case of ‘roid rage coupled with drug-resistant PMS, and women from across Currentland will be flocking to see her live when she comes to the Buffalo Run Casino on Saturday, December 9th for a live performance. A smart guy would probably tag along, enjoy the music, and constantly remind his better half that he’s not the type of guy Lambert sings about. An even smarter guy would probably pony up the $35 or $40 for tickets.

Before Miranda Lambert there was Tanya Tucker. Since the age of thirteen, Tanya Tucker has been a star of country music. Her first hit, “Delta Dawn,” came a decade before Lambert was even born. Her career has had its ups and downs, but, unlike many artists, Tucker has managed to post several successful comebacks, achieving number one songs in the seventies, eighties, and nineties, as well as charting songs on the top 50 in 2002 and 2003. Now as she closes in on fifty, Tucker still tours and prepares for the release of her upcoming album, Lonesome Town, and makes appearances on other artists’ albums, most recently showing up on Billy Joe Shaver’s Everyone’s Brother. On Friday the 14th Tucker will be at the Buffalo Run and will display the talents that has allowed her to enjoy a career that has spanned almost four decades. Tickets for the show are $35 and $40.

After two shows like Miranda Lambert and Tanya Tucker, one might just feel like a break from all that estrogen. Not to worry. On January 11th Buffalo Run will welcome Ron “Tater Salad” White with his Texas brand of stand-up comedy for a show to ring in 2008. For those who don’t know, White is the president and CEO of Comedy Central (aka The Ron White Network). No, my mistake, he’s just on Comedy Central an awful lot. Anyway, White is best known for his performances in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour specials on said network. These specials have achieved some of the highest ratings in the network’s history, and have served as catalysts for the most widely used excruciatingly unfunny catch phrase, “Git er done,” in the history of mankind. Happily, White is not responsible for that catch phrase, and is in fact, a really funny dude (don’t ask me if the “git er done” guy is funny, as I know too many people who actually believe he is, and would be forced to alienate them).

White is the perfect antidote for estrogen overdose. He likes to drink while he works, and sometimes would rather enjoy a nice drag off his cigar than talk to you. What’s not to like? Others seem to agree as White’s “You Can’t Fix Stupid” comedy album was nominated for a Grammy and spent several weeks on the Billboard Comedy Charts, and his book, I Had The Right To Remain Silent…But I Didn’t Have The Ability, debuted at number 14 on the New York Times Bestseller list. But if you really need a reason to like Ron White, consider this: He’s part owner of Scene of the Crash, The Alpha Trade National Award Program’s Bounty Bull, an award given to the most horrifyingly intimidating bull in the PBR. How cool is that? Tickets for the Ron White show at Buffalo Run Casino go on sale November 24th and start at $55.

For additional information and to reserve tickets for any of these shows, call the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (pronounced my-am-uh by real Okies) at 918.542.7140 ext. 2200 or go online at http://www.buffalorun.com/.